WHEN TO GIVE UP BEING A HORSEWOMAN?

WHEN TO GIVE UP BEING A HORSEWOMAN

"How do you know when to give up on being a horsewoman?"

This was a question I saw today.

I admire this person for asking because some people quietly kiss goodbye to their inner horsewoman when they face a sense of hopelessness in their situations, age, injury, and exhaustion.

My answer is that you should never give up if this is your dream. The thing that ignites interest, passion, and joy inside you.

Even if I am lucky enough to become old and frail, I will still be a horsewoman. I might only be able to look, think, and dream of horses at that stage, but I will still be a horsewoman.

It is who I am and I know it, and if you are reading this you know what I am talking about. It's a calling and you feel it.

However, I think what this person is saying is that they are lost and feeling hopeless and maybe struggling to get on with a horse. Or maybe they have had bad luck after bad luck, and the frustration and heartache have become too much.

I have advice for that.

Firstly, if you feel like this it means life is letting you know that things are not working and you need to change.

The first thing you should change is yourself. Diet, exercise and sleep are the places to start when you feel lost. Your body is this incredible system that we can let go of when life gets hard. It will amaze you how it can heal and keep adapting if you give it a chance.

Next, get some good advice and a supportive community that is all working towards being good horse people.

If you are not progressing that means you are getting some advice that is not helping you.

Really think about how the people around you are making you feel. Are you feeling guilty, like a failure, confused, nervous? If so, you might need some new people instead of no horses.

In terms of advice you follow, a common thing people do is get all "bitsy"; they try a bit of this, then a bit of that. Social media has made this worse. Horses do not respond well to this. Working well with horses is deep and beautifully layered and it is hard to grasp that in 45 second reels on social media.

Also, there are many roads to Rome when it comes to working well with horses. Each and every quality trainer or coach has found their own way to Rome. The best way to develop a sense of competence and therefore confidence with horses is to follow someone's path.

Once you learn a way it then opens you up to investigate all the other ways. But if you don't stick with someone and learn a way, you just get stuck going around and around continually searching for the shortcut.

All these things are effort and hard work but if you find the right people and good advice the horsewoman inside you will fuel your pursuits.

This is a photo of my good friend Kath and I adore her. When I met her she didn't think she was a horsewoman either but she knows it now. Kath started out learning how to re-train Standardbreds off the track, then almost 5 years ago she started her first youngster.

Since I have known Kath she has given horse after horse an education that has given them value and secured them a home and a life. She has done this by following my road to Rome and over time she has now found her own ways there.

Therefore, how do you know when to give up on being a horsewoman?

You give up only when it no longer calls you. If it still calls to you but you are stuck or going backwards, it means you need to look at yourself, look at the quality of road you are travelling and the people surrounding you. Because there is a good chance, these things need to change not who you know you truly are.