CRITICISM & OPINIONS OF THE HORSE WORLD

HOW TO DEAL CONSTRUCTIVELY WITH CRITICISM & OPINIONS OF THE HORSE WORLD

Up until 5 years ago I was your regular run of the mill dressage enthusiast. I would only watch, listen or read things that were dressage related and I had no interest in listening or watching people from other disciplines because I saw it as irrelevant to dressage and dressage was all I needed. The horse people I associated with, such as my coaches and dressage club acquaintances, all held similar beliefs and this just reinforced what I considered relevant and what was irrelevant. But then an event took place that smashed my beliefs and I started listening, reading and watching other disciplines and other types of horse experts. I started experimenting and I discovered positive changes in my horses and felt growing confidence in my ability to work with horses. I realised I had big gaps in my understanding of horses and how to train them and what I discovered outside of dressage actually helped me understand dressage better. The more I learnt the more I realise I was previously very ignorant about the horse and how to train it. But venturing outside the sport and its typical way of doing things has come at a price with my journey littered with many awkward encounters with people disapproving of everything from my ground work to my decision to warm up on a loose rein; plus I am sure many people just think I am completely nuts!

During these times I felt everything from frustration to anger but I have survived and learnt how to navigate the negativity constructively and in the process made a stack of wonderful friends who probably still think I am nuts but in a more nice way! To understand my resilience you have to understand my motivation to change and man did I had powerful motivation. On the 24th November 2011, in a lesson with a visiting interstate coach I made my horse’s mouth bleed. Even typing those words still makes me feel dreadful. My horse was charging off when we were attempting to train flying changes and I was attempting to collect him before the change and pull him up and the pressure, pain and stress of the activity obviously created so much anguish in my horse he bit his lip and the copious amount of foam pouring from his mouth turned bright orange. I was sickened and disgusted in myself and I drove away from that lesson with my belief system smashed hating myself and what I had done. I was resolved that if that was dressage then I didn’t want to do dressage. The sad thing is that back then I needed to see actual blood to see I was hurting my horse. These days just the fact he use to put his head up in the air and clenched his teeth when I attempted to bridle him would be enough evidence to show me how uncool and worried he felt about being ridden. People think horses do not talk but they talk all the time and constantly let you know how they feel about things with their behaviour, gestures, braces and resistances you just need to know it is important to take note of. Your eyes will only ever see what you perceive to hold important meaning.

There is a quote originally said by Peter McIntyre which is: “Confidence comes from not always being right but from not fearing being wrong”….and this is the basis of my resilience….I do not care if tomorrow I find out all my current practices are wrong because at least I would have found out and could stop perpetuating a mistake. The only thing I would feel worse about in regards to making my horse’s mouth bleed is if it never happened and I was still stuck in that ignorant mindset. Therefore, when people feel the need to tell me I should not be doing something whether it be ground work, some aspect of training under saddle or combining positive or negative reinforcement in my training I don’t care because firstly, I am being more critical and caring about what I am doing than they will ever be and secondly, I am more concerned about gathering evidence from my horse in its behaviour, gestures and performance as this is the opinion that matters the most! Basically, I am always objective about every decision I make or action I take and I am prepared to investigate all possible outcomes that result.

Therefore, this is not an article that tells you to ignore people that criticises or give you their unsolicited opinions. It is to remind you that we all have a framework of beliefs and perceptions that we use to see and judge things…so understand that these people are just judging you on their own criteria using eyes that are limited to what they know and they might not know much about what you are doing! So the next time someone criticises you before you feel hurt and offended remember WHY you are motivated to do what you are doing and then really take note of what your horse is saying about it because it is the horse’s opinion that matters, not yours and not this particular persons. Ask yourself if the horse is letting you know whether they are feeling cool or uncool about the situation. If your horse is telling you it is being uncool and being resistant or anxious……do you understand why the horse is behaving this way and do you have a clear strategy to help them feel better? If you do understand and have a strategy then feel confident and let your motivation behind your training decisions help you smile at this person and thank them for their insights and move away and stick to your strategy. But if you feel frustration or you have no clear strategy then don’t fear being wrong and use it as a sign to seek help from someone that respects you, that builds your confidence and empowers you with knowledge…..and there is a good chance that is not going to be that person making you feel hurt and offended!